Yesterday I was in the middle of an anxiety attack, which I had never experienced before, but at about 4:30 this morning I discovered one of the main factors behind the attack. If there are any gentlemen reading this, be warned, it gets pretty "girly", but it's something you should be aware of anyway.
I realized that much of my recent physical and mental ickiness was due to a serious case of PMS. I further realized that I wasn't able to dispense the pent up emotional combustion in my normal way. Usually I get very short-tempered, and angry at the world... I express it mostly to myself and in loud bursts away from others... but due to a recent illness which put my mother in the hospital and two other members of my bursting household on vacation I was so blissfully happy, motivated and under stressed that I had no reason to be upset or get angry. I had time to be by myself and not feel guilty about it. Therefore, I've realized that releasing aggression is healthy for me, otherwise I take it out on myself and wreak havoc on my own system. This growing up thing is hard to do.
As I mentioned in my first post... fully functional adulthood is fast approaching. Sitting in front of the TV for hours and doing nothing else just doesn't satisfy like it used to. I made a 'to do' list today and I have actually already done about half the things on it. I guess growing up, though hard and confusing, is really not as difficult, effort wise, as it seemed.
My next motivation attack... reading. I like to read, but I always feel like I am going to miss something. The books are starting to pile up.
No comments:
Post a Comment